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| Do You Need Expert Advice On German Sheppards; FROM A GERMAN SHEPPARD EXPERT | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: 9 Jun 2011, 06:23 PM (7,544 Views) | |
| German sheppard lover | 19 Jun 2011, 01:04 AM Post #76 |
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German sheppard adviser
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Washing machines!!!!!No Wytch, that is NOT the answer. Please refer back to my serious reply on this subject. This is very dangerous advice to give to someone who has no expert knowledge or expertise in the breed. NOTE: PUTTING A GERMAN SHEPPARD IN YOUR WASHING MACHINE CAN SERIOUSLY DAMAGE THE MACHINE AND MAY NOT BE COVERED BY THE MANUFACTURER'S WARRANTY. Nigel & the sheps |
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| Rooneysdad | 19 Jun 2011, 07:34 AM Post #77 |
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Sadly missed , never forgotton !
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Comments duelly noted Nigel but you have to bear in mind & consider the fact that she does come from Norfolk ?? But personally , i thought everybody knew they were called German Sheepards for a reason ? Thats why my Germans are called Alsations , cause they are black & tan & not white . |
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| Deleted User | 19 Jun 2011, 08:42 AM Post #78 |
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Deleted User
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Dear Nigel, we've just got back from the hospital. I tried wot you said about dressing up as a bone but as soon as I sprayed myself with gravy all the little dogs in the area started to try & eat me & I had to run around like a lunatic trying to get them off. I fell over & this huge mastiff took me from behind. Bob needed some of Pat's tenas he was laughing so much. 2 hours later when I could stand up we had to go to hospital as Bob had a hernia from laughing so much. Oh & Sasha decided she'd just have loads of fun with all the small dogs & Mum could bog off as usual.
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| Deleted User | 19 Jun 2011, 08:50 AM Post #79 |
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Deleted User
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I know, I know, but it was before I realised wot that Pat was like & I thought she was just a sweet old lady wot trains dogs to behave. Trouble is Sasha's taught the other girls to do it as well & even Jake joins in sometimes. Has that woman corrupted all my dogs now? Do I need to put knickers on him too & would my pink extra large full size briefs do him any mental damage? As for the motorbike, we can't afford to get her own bike, would it be ok if we invited a friend round with his bike every week & asked him to take her for a ride? |
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| Megatronic | 21 Jun 2011, 09:31 PM Post #80 |
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wots missing Pat a lot
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Dear Nigel :worthy: Can you tell me why Meg is so norty? and I thought gsd's were intelligent, do you think Benson might be crossed with something ....... like a fluffy cloud
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| German sheppard lover | 11 Jul 2011, 11:40 PM Post #81 |
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German sheppard adviser
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This is a toughy. I think she is being norty to get your attention. What you have to do is ignore her when she is norty. When she chews up your new sofa or your tv remote, she's just BEGGING you for attention. IGNORE HER! Don't give in and start taking notice of her. If you do, you will be letting her see how weak you are as a pack leader. Just go out and keep buying new sofas and tv remotes every time she chews one up. (The other matter about her chewing up your collection of pornographic films and magazines, I have replied by pm, so no-one knows about that - and no, dogs can't read) On the norty recall front - please refer to my article on dressing up as a bone, as advised by me to Coral (IS Coral married ? She's very pretty - ) and I think you should find her running away will stop. (Meg that is, not Coral).With regard to her not doing a sit stay - tie her up. That will make her stay. If she chews through the lead, as is sometimes the case, ask your vet to take her teeth out. That usually stops lead chewing. Glad to be of help with these difficut problems. As for your last problem you mentioned in your pm to me - I think you and your husband should go and see a sex therapist, or at very least a marriage guidance counsellor. I don't think your demands are 'unusual', I think your husband is just a prude. I'm sending you my leaflet 'when your dog is norty and your husband is a prude'. Nigel & the sheps |
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| German sheppard lover | 11 Jul 2011, 11:45 PM Post #82 |
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German sheppard adviser
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Oh deary deary me. gsd's are NOT intelligent, they're whingey. Alsations are intelligent, but as I have stated before, they turn. Make sure you know what you want before you buy next time. I think he could be cross between a german shepherd and an alsation, but without actually seeing him, it's hard to tell. He could also be dim because he's white. This is very common in white alsations. It's their Jeans. I'm sending you my leaflet ' is my dog dim because he's a white Alsation?' Nigel & the sheps |
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| German sheppard lover | 12 Jul 2011, 12:05 AM Post #83 |
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German sheppard adviser
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Well Riggles (That's a VERY attractive name - are you male or female),As I am only a German Sheppard Expert, I can only really suggest that you exercise your two dogs with only Coarse-coated Romanian Alternative Pomeranian dogs so they learn how to behave like them (incidentally, there's no such breed as a German Alsation dog. The German Alsation dog is a MONGREL!!! Crosses between German sheppards and Alsations are NOT recommended because it can cause deafness). C.R.A.P. dogs should really only be kept by C.R.A.P dog experts - there's a lot of them about. If I was you, I'd stick to your German Sheppards. At least that way, you always have an expert to call on if you need any more advice. I'm sending you my leaflet 'How can I make my dog a C.R.A.P dog and should I really want one' Nigel & the sheps |
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| German sheppard lover | 12 Jul 2011, 12:11 AM Post #84 |
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German sheppard adviser
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Dear confused ( ) of cricklewoodthe answer to your question is YES. I'm sending you my leaflet 'Am I mad enough to be a GSD owner'. Read it in the shower, wearing a snorkel. Nigel & the sheps |
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| German sheppard lover | 12 Jul 2011, 12:19 AM Post #85 |
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German sheppard adviser
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Since German Sheppards only understand German, there's no point in trying to start up a conversation with them. It doesn't pay to get too friendly anyway, for a start they might turn on you and if you let them on the furniture, they start putting their blankets on the sofa, so there's nowhere for you to sit. They are known to do this at the side of hydrotherapy pools, so all the other dogs cannot get a bed. I'm sending you my leaflet 'should I learn to speak German so I can have a chat with my dog'. It will help you decide whether you're the right kind of person for having conversations, in german, with a dog. Nigel & the sheps |
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| German sheppard lover | 12 Jul 2011, 12:26 AM Post #86 |
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German sheppard adviser
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| German sheppard lover | 12 Jul 2011, 12:32 AM Post #87 |
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German sheppard adviser
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I trust that my free expert advice on German Sheppards is helping the lesser educated people on here. Please note, my freeness is for a limited period only. If you have any questions you are too embarrassed to ask your dog trainer, please feel free to ask for my expert opinion on here, or if it's of a more 'delicate' nature, feel free to pm me and i will answer as discreetly as I can - bearing in mind, I AM a bloke. Nigel & the sheps |
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| Megatronic | 12 Jul 2011, 09:03 AM Post #88 |
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wots missing Pat a lot
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thank you Nigel for your very experienced advice :worthy: I didn't realise Benson was white though, maybe that’s what the problem is. I’ve got to have my eyes tested!
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| Norfolksue | 12 Jul 2011, 12:51 PM Post #89 |
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Wot wishes she was pretty like Pat......hhmmmm
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| German sheppard lover | 12 Jul 2011, 11:29 PM Post #90 |
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German sheppard adviser
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Just because he isn't white now, doesn't mean to say he won't turn white. He'll probably turn anyway. (Important: safety warning: If you sense that he is about to turn, put a large, raw jacket potato in his mouth and carefully push his teeth into it. Then he'll only be able to bite the potato. King Edwards potatoes are best for this because they all once belonged to King Edward. Dogs are not allowed to bite anything belonging to royalty by law). Nigel & the sheps |
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| German sheppard lover | 12 Jul 2011, 11:35 PM Post #91 |
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German sheppard adviser
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| shovelears | 13 Jul 2011, 12:02 AM Post #92 |
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GSD Lover
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Dear Doc, how long until you get to my Bonsai and the Exploding Baked Potato Question? I just can not contain my excitement any longer! Und falls Sie wirklich denken, dass es hilft wenn man mit seinen Hunden deutsch spricht...? Ich glaube, ich koennte mit meinen Hunden chinesisch sprechen und sie wuerden immernoch das tun, was sie wollen! Deutsche Schaeferhunde sprechen kein deutsch, sie sprechen wirklich nur hund. vielen herzlichen Dank fuer Ihre Mithilfe! mit hochachtungsvollen Gruessen, Frau D. S. Hund |
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| Jennysmum | 13 Jul 2011, 12:09 AM Post #93 |
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If only I could go up the pole upside down
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You shouldn't talk to Nigel like that..he ain't gonna like it!!!!
Pat wot worries for shovelears safety when Nigel gets on the board.
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| shovelears | 13 Jul 2011, 09:32 AM Post #94 |
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GSD Lover
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just testing his theory..... anyway, does everybody who owns a Chinese Crested speak chinese? Do you need to be able to speak french to own a Bichon? maybe we have called out our expert? looking forward to his answer......
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| Rooneysdad | 14 Jul 2011, 07:26 AM Post #95 |
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Sadly missed , never forgotton !
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I spoke to my Rooney & Bear this morning & they translated this quote for me . 'Do and if you really think, that it helps if one with its dogs ... German speaks? I believe, I Chinese could speak with my dogs and would do it immernoch that, what they want! German shepherds speak no German, they speak really only dog. Many sincere thanks to for your assistance! with respectful greeting' I said 'Vielen Dank' them & i would 'Geben Sie an der Nachricht weiter' Colin wots just going to remove the dog towels from his sofa so he can sit down & put dirty/mucky/smelly water in his paddling pool , so Bear feels like he is at home ?? Wonderful advice Nigel :worthy: |
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| shovelears | 14 Jul 2011, 10:38 AM Post #96 |
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GSD Lover
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Ah! very clever doggies of yours, Colin! but would you have had the same conversation with them, if they were Akitas?
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| Rooneysdad | 14 Jul 2011, 03:16 PM Post #97 |
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Sadly missed , never forgotton !
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Sorry , neither they or i speak Japanese , only German ?? |
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| Jennysmum | 14 Jul 2011, 08:32 PM Post #98 |
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If only I could go up the pole upside down
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COLIN!!! You're beginning to sound JUST like Nigel!!Nigel is a German Shepherd expert and don't do Akitas, chinese cresteds, Pomeranians Labradors, westies, or any other dog wots not a proper dog! WOT??? Pat wots just bowing to Nigel's superior knowledge of the German Sheppard |
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| Rooneysdad | 14 Jul 2011, 08:46 PM Post #99 |
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Sadly missed , never forgotton !
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I would never profess to know more than Nigel :worthy: Colinwotknowshisplace&standsinaweofNigelssuperiorknowledge |
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| German sheppard lover | 14 Jul 2011, 11:45 PM Post #100 |
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German sheppard adviser
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Hey! No problem mate . I am an expert after allNigel & the sheps |
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You'll believe anything, you will..........
Washing machines!!!!!




I tried wot you said about dressing up as a bone but as soon as I sprayed myself with gravy all the little dogs in the area started to try & eat me & I had to run around like a lunatic trying to get them off. I fell over & this huge mastiff took me from behind.
Oh Coral Coral Coral
....... like a fluffy cloud
- ) and I think you should find her running away will stop. (Meg that is, not Coral).
Do you have to be mad to be a GSD owner?
Just because he isn't white now, doesn't mean to say he won't turn white. He'll probably turn anyway.


9:45 AM Jul 11








