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Do You Need Expert Advice On German Sheppards; FROM A GERMAN SHEPPARD EXPERT
Topic Started: 9 Jun 2011, 06:23 PM (7,545 Views)
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WeLoveJess
17 Jun 2011, 08:28 PM
Coral... John just sent me a PM saying he's got his bone in front of the fan too..... :embarassed: you've started a trend :embarassed:
It was him wot gave me the idea. :sofa: :rotflmao:
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jayne
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LURKING in the comfort zone of Pensionville
Wytch
17 Jun 2011, 08:31 PM
WeLoveJess
17 Jun 2011, 08:28 PM
Coral... John just sent me a PM saying he's got his bone in front of the fan too..... :embarassed: you've started a trend :embarassed:
Errrr..............that's a WHOLE different lifestyle choice that I don't think is appropriate for this kind of forum....... :rotflmao: :springwow: :pats_rooster: :swoon: :embarassed:
:lmoa: :lmoa: :lmoa:
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Debsborah
Wot wonders who this PAT woman is
:lmoa: :lmoa: :lmoa: :lmoa:
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Rooneysdad
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Sadly missed , never forgotton !
Sheba'sMum
17 Jun 2011, 08:53 PM
WeLoveJess
17 Jun 2011, 08:28 PM
Coral... John just sent me a PM saying he's got his bone in front of the fan too..... :embarassed: you've started a trend :embarassed:
It was him wot gave me the idea. :sofa: :rotflmao:

Have you had a 'butchers ' then Coral ??? :thud:

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Jennysmum
If only I could go up the pole upside down

Rooneysdad
18 Jun 2011, 09:40 PM
Sheba'sMum
17 Jun 2011, 08:53 PM
WeLoveJess
17 Jun 2011, 08:28 PM
Coral... John just sent me a PM saying he's got his bone in front of the fan too..... :embarassed: you've started a trend :embarassed:
It was him wot gave me the idea. :sofa: :rotflmao:

Have you had a 'butchers ' then Coral ??? :thud:


Oh yeah, she's had a butcher's alright :brow: - and a baker's and a footballer's and a bank manager's AND the man who works in McDonalds.....



:lmoa: :lmoa: :lmoa: :lmoa: :lmoa:


WOT?????????????????????


Patwots just sayin wot she's heard that's all
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German sheppard lover
German sheppard adviser
Sheba'sMum
9 Jun 2011, 06:35 PM
: Also how do I stop her barking at things when she's in the car - mainly bikes/motorbikes/lorries/people & other dogs? ?
This is a very common problem indeed, especially in German Sheppards. Fortunately for you, you have asked an expert.

The reason they bark at motor bikes, bikes, lorries is nothing but pure JEALOUSY!! It's the dog's way of saying that THEY want a bike or a motorbike or a lorry.

The only cure really is to buy the dog it's own bike or motor bike (please remember that the wearing of crash helmets is COMPULSARY in the UK now and has been for some time). When you get the bike, make sure you put fairy wheels on it for safety, until she gets used to riding it.

Unfortunately, it is now illegal for dogs to drive lorries, so your only option is to buy Sasha a bike or motorbike of her own. This will stop the barking.

Good luck!


Nigel & the sheps
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Sheba'sMum
9 Jun 2011, 06:35 PM

She is nearly 5 years old & went to stay with Arnty Pat when she was little & was taught to be a good girl although when she came back home she started laying on her back wiv her legs open whenever there were men about. :o :thud:
please can you give me some help?

:swoon: Oh Coral Coral Coral

I am sorry to say that you should NEVER have sent her to Aunty Pat's training skool. :noway:

Did you not REALIZE that dogs copy what they see their trainers do???????????? :thud:

It's quite obvious to me what Sasha has witnessed Pat and her ALL FEMALE staff doing and all I can say is that I'm skusted that you sent your innocent dog to THAT hussy to be taught the things she has.

I'm afraid that Sasha has gone completely off the rails and there is no hope for her. Put knickers on her and hope for the best.


Nigel & the sheps
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Rooneysdad
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Sadly missed , never forgotton !
:lmoa: :lmoa: :lmoa: :lmoa:

Did you mention that it had to be a new bicycle or will any 'old bike' do ??? :brow:

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Rooneysdad
9 Jun 2011, 06:51 PM



Can you tell me dear oracle of the sheppy world ..... what is the inside leg measurement of my Rooney &





It depends on whether he is long haired or short haired

Nigel & the sheps
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Rooneysdad
9 Jun 2011, 06:51 PM


why is he a black & tan & not all black ??? :thumbs up:




His parents must have been one all black and one all brown. It is impossible to get a black and tan puppy any other way.

Nigel & the sheps
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cooter48
9 Jun 2011, 07:12 PM
Why does my puppy Rio wake up at 5 am ?

You have heard it said that you should put a ticking clock in with a puppy. Lots of people believe (wrongly) that it is to mimick his mother's heart beat and bring him comfort.

This is an old wive's tale. The reason the clued up puppy owner gives their pup a clock is so that the puppy can TELL WHAT TIME IT IS!!! :waiting:

Once he sees that he is barking at 5 0'clock, he'll hit the snooze button with his nose and you will get a bit of peace and quiet at that time in the morning. In all honesty, I would have thought that anyone could have worked that one out themselves and not have to ask a German sheppard expert.


Nigel & the sheps
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ginger
9 Jun 2011, 07:14 PM
How do I stop my shep bringing all the sexy young ladies over to see me when we're out on a walk? There are so many now I can't cope with them all throwing themselves at me. :dramaqueen:

There is no known cure for this. The best advice I can give you is to sell your dog to me.

Nigel wot needs a good woman & the sheps
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Wytch
9 Jun 2011, 10:21 PM
Dere unkle nigel

my name is Ted an i wud like to no how i can tel my mum off for bein horrid to me. there woz a hole in are garden and mum fixed it wiv noo grass but today it got dug up again. mum normly blames me but today she cudnt cos i had clean paws and posh has grubby muddy paws.
since it wernt me wot dun it i wud like to no how i can show mum wot a good boy i is.

Ted

Hmm, a tricky one..

I've met your mum when she was pole dancing in a club I go to know of.

I got the distinct impression that she doesn't like 'boys' if you know what I mean :brow:

I think she prefers girls :brow: and this would account for her blaming you for everything.

I am sending you my leaflet 'how to cope with owners who prefer girls, when you're a boy.

Don't let her get you down boy.


Nigel & the sheps
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GSD Lifeline
9 Jun 2011, 10:37 PM
I would like to know how to spell German Shep..... bugger!! :minisgd2:

Sorry. I am a German sheppard expert, not an English teacher.

Nigel & the sheps
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RIGGLES
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Woofin-Wheels
German sheppard lover
18 Jun 2011, 10:19 PM


(please remember that the wearing of crash helmets is COMPULSARY in the UK now and has been for some time).





I'm sure you just forget that the helmet law does not apply to some folk from far away places ............

......so could you just clarify if this applies to dogs from ..........erm.............overseas, such as the Chippiparai.....or the Vanjari Hound ..or indeed the Indian Spitz ?





Fankew Nigel ..........
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biggsd
9 Jun 2011, 10:45 PM


Whats the difference between a German Shepherd and a Alsation is it that one is short haired and the other longhaired.?

No, they are two entirely different breeds. German sheppards 'turn' and Alsations bite. Also you only see pictures of Alsations on birthday cards and ALL Alsations are related to Rin-Tin-Tin, whereas all German Sheppards are related to Lassie.

Nigel & the sheps
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RIGGLES
18 Jun 2011, 11:46 PM
German sheppard lover
18 Jun 2011, 10:19 PM


(please remember that the wearing of crash helmets is COMPULSARY in the UK now and has been for some time).





I'm sure you just forget that the helmet law does not apply to some folk from far away places ............

......so could you just clarify if this applies to dogs from ..........erm.............overseas, such as the Chippiparai.....or the Vanjari Hound ..or indeed the Indian Spitz ?





Fankew Nigel ..........

I believe those breeds are exempt from the law, but don't quote me on that because I am only a German Sheppard expert.


Nigel & the sheps
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Norfolksue
10 Jun 2011, 08:49 AM
Dear Nigel love2 wot knows everyfink

I have one of the very very rare 'Compact German Shepherds' wot you dont see very often, if I walk her a lot will her legs get shorter?


Confusedofnorfolk
xxx




I am one of the few experts who is very familiar with this rare line of German sheppard. Her legs WILL get shorter if you walk her a lot but only if you walk her on concete so her legs wear down to the height you want. Note: There is no point in walking your dog on the beach because her legs will just sink into the sand and not wear down. :real GSD:

Nigel & the sheps

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Norfolksue
10 Jun 2011, 08:49 AM

I also have anuvver German Shepherd dog wot is black.........is is there a speshul polish I can get for his coat like Mr Sheen for dogs?

Confusedofnorfolk
xxx




Dear confused of Norfolk (what a pretty name :brow: )

There is no speshul shampoo to make the all black German sheppard shiney unfortunately.

HOWEVER!! I've learned a cunning little trick that I use to make my black dogs look shiney when I'm showing them at Crufts:

Get a black bin liner and cut a hole in the middle of the bottom seam of the bag. Cut two more holes, one in each side of the bag.

Put his head through the first hole and his front legs through the other two holes. Sellotape the loose bit around his waist and HEY PRESTO!! A shiney black dog wot is also waterproof!! :clapping:

I'm sending you my leaflet entitled ' What to do when Mr. Sheen DOESN'T shine umpteen things clean.


Nigel & the sheps
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Barking Mad
10 Jun 2011, 08:54 AM
Dr Nigel how the hell can i shut my Floyd up :pull hair:

I think the best thing to do is to read him a story where the baddie is a belgian sheppard (sssssssssssssssssssss) and the goodie is a German shepard. (hooray!!!)

He will be so keen to fnd out how the German sheppard (hooray!!!) got one over the belgian sheppard(ssssssssssssssss), that he'll keep quiet to get to the end of the story.

Read this type of story to him several times a day and eventually, he'll be quiet all the time in case he misses the bit where the German sheppard is the hero of the day.

I'm sending you my leaflet 'How the German sheppard REALLY got one over the Belgian Pansies'


Nigel & the GERMAN sheppards
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puppylove
10 Jun 2011, 03:52 PM
what is a Sheppard?



It's a whingey, winey, dog with big ears wot originated in Germany ,wot moults a lot and has diahorrea a lot and eats horse poo and rolls in fox poo. They are very similar to Alsations, except they don't turn.


Nigel & the sheps
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Sucker4browneyes
10 Jun 2011, 03:55 PM
What are white german sheppherds crossed with to make them white?
Originally, they were crossed with sheep to get the white coats. Hence the reason they were originally known as 'German SHEEPHERDS'


Nigel & the sheps
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Norfolksue
10 Jun 2011, 03:58 PM
Sucker4browneyes
10 Jun 2011, 03:55 PM
What are white german sheppherds crossed with to make them white?
S' obvious, Milky Bars............. :sofa:

No Sue. You're wrong. And if you're not going to take this thread seriously, then don't ask for my advice again. I came on this forum as an expert in German sheppards free. Annie asked me a perfectly reasonable question. At least do me the courtesy of taking my expert advice seriously. :angry:


Nigel & the sheps


edited to say: Moderators, if you think I've over-reacted here, FINE! I think Sue owes me an apology.I'm sure the other members will agree
Edited by German sheppard lover, 19 Jun 2011, 12:44 AM.
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Leelou's Mum
10 Jun 2011, 04:23 PM
Barking Mad
10 Jun 2011, 08:54 AM
Dr Nigel how the hell can i shut my Floyd up :pull hair:
My sheppie doesn't bark!!
Excellent! :thumbs up: You've obviously read my leaflet 'how to get your dog to shut the ---- UP!!!!

Well done on taking my previous advice


Nigel & the sheps
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Debsborah
10 Jun 2011, 05:33 PM
Dr Nig

Why does my teany weany german shepperd need 5 feet of my kingsize bed and leave me with a couple of inches (wonder how long before the rood ones comment) at the edge

During the day, because they run around a lot, the German sheppards legs wear down. During the night, the legs re-grow ready for another day's running around. The dog instinctively knows that as his legs re-grow in the night, he will need more space, so he don't 'grow himself' off the bed, so he sleeps in the middle of the bed to accommodate his nocturnally growing legs.

(To be honest, I'm surprised you had to ask an expert this question - I should have thought the answer was obvious) :pull hair:


Nigel & the sheps
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