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Do You Need Expert Advice On German Sheppards; FROM A GERMAN SHEPPARD EXPERT
Topic Started: 9 Jun 2011, 06:23 PM (7,546 Views)
Jennysmum
If only I could go up the pole upside down

Hello Nigel

I know this is a commonly asked question and I think you have answered it before, but for the benefit of those of us who missed it, can you tell me how to stop my dogs being scared of fireworks

Pat wot bows to Nigel's greater knowledge :worthy:
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jayne
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LURKING in the comfort zone of Pensionville
dear nigel,

can you please tell me why my foster dog keeps making bloomin' great holes in the garden and brings them indoors?
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jayne
11 Jun 2011, 01:14 PM
dear nigel,

can you please tell me why my foster dog keeps making bloomin' great holes in the garden and brings them indoors?
How can it bring holes indoors old woman? :lmao:

CoralwotswaitingforLardarsetovanishin1ofJayne'sholes. :sofa:
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Tara's Mum
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Slendertone Goddess!
Hi Nigel,

My OH wants to let Tara, our new rescue jump on the sofa! I keep saying NO, and that he's not to let her!

What are your views?
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jayne
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LURKING in the comfort zone of Pensionville
Sheba'sMum
11 Jun 2011, 01:37 PM
jayne
11 Jun 2011, 01:14 PM
dear nigel,

can you please tell me why my foster dog keeps making bloomin' great holes in the garden and brings them indoors?
How can it bring holes indoors old woman? :lmao:

CoralwotswaitingforLardarsetovanishin1ofJayne'sholes. :sofa:
ah, but he's a very clever boy, ya know!!!

duurrrrr!!!!! :funny face:



jaynewotthinksthis'llbeintheblooroominanminnit.



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RIGGLES
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Woofin-Wheels



Dear Nige.....hoe do yoo get your mussuls sooo big ?....oh sorry.......wrong forum .... :embarassed:




Dear Nigel.............i have two German Alsation Dogs.................i don't really know why because i reeeely wanted a Coarse coated , Romanian , Alternative Pomeranian .........or a C.R.A.P for short .... :embarassed:


So my question is............How can i make my current dogs act like C.R.A.P'S ???



Fankew
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Vittoria
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GSD Addict
Dear Nigel,

:funny face: Do you have to be mad to be a GSD owner? Also is it ok to hold a conversation with them?

Fanks

confused of cricklewood

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shovelears
GSD Lover
Dear Doc,

somebody once told me you can keep puppies small and cute and cuddly and stop them growing into big beasts eating you out of house and home by bonsaiing them. I tried it in the past, but they kept leaping out of the plant pots, scattering compost and wouldn't stay put. Plus they ate all the other Bonsai.

What have I done wrong?

awaiting your answer eagerly
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moorgal
GSD Addict
Deer NiGel,wot i haven't met...but 'av ' eard is an "hexport"on sheppids....um...my collie x sheppid is much biggar than a cat...BUT........she gets outof the cat flap......regularly...um,why???
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moorgal
GSD Addict
...and....also..why do baked potatoes explode in the oven....sometimes??
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Norfolksue
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Wot wishes she was pretty like Pat......hhmmmm
biggsd
10 Jun 2011, 04:52 PM
puppylove
10 Jun 2011, 03:52 PM
what is a Sheppard?
Posted Image
:OMG: my sheppards dont wear hats at all :disninja: .................ever! :thud: is there somefink wrong with them..also they dont look like blokes in dresses

:hide:
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zx9girl
Mad As A Hatter
Dr Nigel

Please tell me why my GSD Bitch keeps having a bite on the snout of my little GSD boy whom she looked after so well as her own when he arrived at 6 mths old and is now 3 ish till this orrible Setter xGSD Arrived nearly 2 yrs ago .

I long for advice on this :thumbs up:
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jayne
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LURKING in the comfort zone of Pensionville
mmmmmm!

he's not being much help so far, this nigel, is he? i reckon he spends too long in front of the mirror flexing those muscles! :thud:
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biggsd
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Theres a home out there for every dog

Nigel,

Who is the Present prime Minister,and have they got a gsd.?

Johnwhatseendoctorsaskpatientsthisquestion.
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German sheppard lover
German sheppard adviser
Now then now then!!!! As an expert I have to consider each and every question carefully before I reply incase I get sood for giving the wrong expert information.

I shall endeavour to expertly answer your questions one by one, in the order they appear. Please realize it may take me some time to consider my answer but rest assured, my advice on german sheppards is second to none and for a limited time only, it's FREE!

I shall start with question number one from a member I'm not familiar with (yet! :brow: )
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German sheppard lover
German sheppard adviser
Sheba'sMum
9 Jun 2011, 06:35 PM
Dir Nigel wots an expert could you tell me how to get my little sod Sasha to come back when she's called?

Hello Coral (are you married?)


The answer to this very common problem is simple and will work if your follow my expert advice to the letter:

To get your dog to come back to you when called, you must firstly, starve it for 24 hours. During this starvation period, put a photograph of a raw bone next to your dogs bed. Spray the house with bone scented air freshener three times a day and three times during the night.

The next day, you must get someone else to take your dog to the field, whilst you dress up as a meaty bone (don't forget to spray yourself with gravy).

(Getting on my wave length yet???)

You stand at one side of the field and call your dog in a sort of meaty, boney kind of way. The dog will recogniise your voice and look round to see where you are. At this point, take the small fan (which you will have secreted about yourself) out and blow your meaty smell towards your (hungry) dog.

Your dog should come straight to you at which point, you can let him have a little taste of you as reward. Do this about four times a day and within a few months, your dog will be coming back to you like a rocket.

Nigel & the sheps.



another question answered tomorrow
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biggsd
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Theres a home out there for every dog

Nigel i know you are a German Shepherd Expert but you seem to me to be a good listener and a very worldly person on most matters?.


Nigel, really need your advice for a serious problem:

I have suspected for some time now that the missus has been cheating. The usual signs; phone rings, if I answer the caller hangs up; going out with the girls a lot. I try to stay awake to look out for her when she comes home but I usually fall asleep.

Anyway last night about midnight I hid in the shed behind the boat. When she came home she got out of someone's car buttoning her blouse, then she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on.
It was at that moment crouched behind the boat I noticed... a "hairline crack" in the outboard mounting bracket.














Is that something I can weld or do I need to replace it?

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Norfolksue
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Wot wishes she was pretty like Pat......hhmmmm

:lmoa: :lmoa: :lmoa: Stoppit....... John I'll av to borrow some of Pats collection of Tena Laydees if you make me laugh that hard.............. :sofa:
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jayne
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LURKING in the comfort zone of Pensionville
biggsd
17 Jun 2011, 01:39 PM
Nigel i know you are a German Shepherd Expert but you seem to me to be a good listener and a very worldly person on most matters?.


Nigel, really need your advice for a serious problem:

I have suspected for some time now that the missus has been cheating. The usual signs; phone rings, if I answer the caller hangs up; going out with the girls a lot. I try to stay awake to look out for her when she comes home but I usually fall asleep.

Anyway last night about midnight I hid in the shed behind the boat. When she came home she got out of someone's car buttoning her blouse, then she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on.
It was at that moment crouched behind the boat I noticed... a "hairline crack" in the outboard mounting bracket.














Is that something I can weld or do I need to replace it?

:lmoa: :lmoa: :lmoa: :lmoa: :lmoa: :lmoa:
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Rooneysdad
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Sadly missed , never forgotton !
German sheppard lover
17 Jun 2011, 02:40 AM
Sheba'sMum
9 Jun 2011, 06:35 PM
Dir Nigel wots an expert could you tell me how to get my little sod Sasha to come back when she's called?

Hello Coral (are you married?)


The answer to this very common problem is simple and will work if your follow my expert advice to the letter:

To get your dog to come back to you when called, you must firstly, starve it for 24 hours. During this starvation period, put a photograph of a raw bone next to your dogs bed. Spray the house with bone scented air freshener three times a day and three times during the night.

The next day, you must get someone else to take your dog to the field, whilst you dress up as a meaty bone (don't forget to spray yourself with gravy).

(Getting on my wave length yet???)

You stand at one side of the field and call your dog in a sort of meaty, boney kind of way. The dog will recogniise your voice and look round to see where you are. At this point, take the small fan (which you will have secreted about yourself) out and blow your meaty smell towards your (hungry) dog.

Your dog should come straight to you at which point, you can let him have a little taste of you as reward. Do this about four times a day and within a few months, your dog will be coming back to you like a rocket.

Nigel & the sheps.



another question answered tomorrow
:worthy: Oh great one , now i know why they call you an expert , i would never have thought of doing that :worthy:

I can't wait to hear tomorrows reply :sofa:


Biggsd
 
Is that something I can weld or do I need to replace it?


I would weld it shut John , you can't get into trouble then :thumbs up:

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WeLoveJess
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Julie Marie wots got a noo friend, Jeanette
is that what that idiot LadyGaGa was doing when she wore that "meat dress" to the awards???

who knew...........

Joooleee wots now imagining Coral "doing a GaGa" in the local park............
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Deleted User
Deleted User

German sheppard lover
17 Jun 2011, 02:40 AM
Sheba'sMum
9 Jun 2011, 06:35 PM
Dir Nigel wots an expert could you tell me how to get my little sod Sasha to come back when she's called?

Hello Coral (are you married?)


The answer to this very common problem is simple and will work if your follow my expert advice to the letter:

To get your dog to come back to you when called, you must firstly, starve it for 24 hours. During this starvation period, put a photograph of a raw bone next to your dogs bed. Spray the house with bone scented air freshener three times a day and three times during the night.

The next day, you must get someone else to take your dog to the field, whilst you dress up as a meaty bone (don't forget to spray yourself with gravy).

(Getting on my wave length yet???)

You stand at one side of the field and call your dog in a sort of meaty, boney kind of way. The dog will recogniise your voice and look round to see where you are. At this point, take the small fan (which you will have secreted about yourself) out and blow your meaty smell towards your (hungry) dog.

Your dog should come straight to you at which point, you can let him have a little taste of you as reward. Do this about four times a day and within a few months, your dog will be coming back to you like a rocket.

Nigel & the sheps.



another question answered tomorrow
Ok Nigel, yes I'm married but don't tell John that please. :thumbs up:
I've starved her all day today & I went out & bought a bone costume so I can dress up tomorrow. I couldn't find any bone scented air freshner so I put a bone infront of the fan & put it on high.
Bob (hubby wots nowhere near as good looking as you) is going to help me take her out on the green tomorrow & try the rest of your suggestion. I'll let you know how it goes. :thumbs up:
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Debsborah
Wot wonders who this PAT woman is
You're all stark raving mad........................no doubt about it whatsoever

Mad as march hares, the lot of you

Dont stop :thumbs up:
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WeLoveJess
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Julie Marie wots got a noo friend, Jeanette
Coral... John just sent me a PM saying he's got his bone in front of the fan too..... :embarassed: you've started a trend :embarassed:
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Wytch
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Whose neighbours think The Wicker Man is a documentary
WeLoveJess
17 Jun 2011, 08:28 PM
Coral... John just sent me a PM saying he's got his bone in front of the fan too..... :embarassed: you've started a trend :embarassed:
Errrr..............that's a WHOLE different lifestyle choice that I don't think is appropriate for this kind of forum....... :rotflmao: :springwow: :pats_rooster: :swoon: :embarassed:
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